My name is Danai Pachedu and I am 11 years old. For the past
two weeks my life has changed. I have been scared to go to the shops
because people may recognize me. I have stopped speaking Shona in public
or too loudly at home because I might be recognized and our house
identified. I don’t go to the park to play anymore because I might not
come back if someone recognizes me. I spend most of my time inside our
yard or at my private school because I am afraid to go anywhere and be
recognized.
I hear other children outside our yard laughing and speaking loudly
to their parents in foreign languages because they are not afraid. Some
of those children are Portuguese from Portugal, Jewish from Israel,
Chinese from China, Pakistani, Lebanese, Italian but they are not
afraid, they are free. I however, am afraid and don’t feel free. I am
still lucky because sometimes people think I am “South African”, strange
to me because I am South African or am I? Maluti, my brother is not so
“lucky”, most people think he is West African. They will easily smell
him out, they will definitely recognize him. So lately he also doesn’t
go to the shops or to play in the park anymore. Maluti has been
wondering if he should continue to ride his bicycle to the gym or go and
practice his soccer at a local ground anymore because he is scared of
what they will do to him if they recognize him. Maluti doesn’t look 16,
he looks like one of those guys that work daily for so little in the
restaurants, they might think he is stealing their jobs, so he is also
scared. Maluti is a little bit lucky because he doesn’t have to worry
about speaking Shona - he is so bad at Shona in any case that my mum
says if he speaks Shona at the Zimbabwean border they will definitely
deport him back to South Africa, Eish. I don’t know which is worse, his
Shona or his Zulu but what I know is either way, they will smell him
out.
Then there is my Aunt Alice, she helps us in the house. My mother
brought her so that she can assist us with our Shona and the Shona
culture. She is so Shona, if it was anywhere else she would be a
treasure but here in South Africa, she will definitely be recognized.
She carries her permit everywhere, but I don’t think that will help, she
always sticks out like a sore thumb. Even the police don’t recognize
that permit anyway because every month she tells me that she has to put
aside R400 to bribe the police not to deport her. Lately she has taken
to skin lighteners so that she can blend in. I am not sure that this has
worked, she still smells like a Shona and will still be recognized. She
is petrified but has no choice, she must come to work.
I am worried about my parents. My mother, despite being in South
Africa since before 1994 is Shona, they will recognize her. She has to
carry her South African Identity document everywhere but that doesn’t
help either because many a times, she has been accused of forging it.
When I am at school I worry that she might forget and speak with a Shona
accent or say her surname to someone and give herself away.
My dad is a bit lucky he works in the Northern Suburbs and they
won’t go there. It’s my mum and the other people that work in our small
shop, in Chinese shops, as domestic workers and in restaurants where
they earn less than R1500, who they will target. I am told they are
stealing South African jobs. I don’t understand that? Why don’t they
punish the people who give them jobs or are they scared of them? Are the
Portuguese from Portugal, Jewish from Israel, Chinese from China,
Pakistanis, Lebanese, Italians not stealing South African jobs or are
they scared of them?
My parents have worked tirelessly for 9 years to make our small
shop work. The shop is my mother’s pride and she goes there every day.
That shop which has been a blessing, I am afraid will bring us problems.
You can’t miss that shop it’s so recognizable. I wish we didn’t need
the money from that shop, now I believe we might die because of that
shop.
The problem is I can’t relax because I don’t know when I, or my
family, will be recognized. I also don’t understand what my family has
done wrong, or what my Aunt Alice, the shop workers, the waiters have
all done wrong. I am scared that if they recognize us, they will petrol
bomb our shop, kick us out of our house and kill us. I, at least can run
and hide in our suburban house. But what if they catch my Aunt or the
85-year-old Malawian man who has been in South Africa since he was 25
years old or my cousin Tarisai who works 14 hours a day every day to
survive; they have really done nothing to anyone.
I have seen videos of what they can do to “foreigners”. I am scared
that no one wants to protect us, not the police and not the government.
They will just put us in tents in a football field and justify that we
are involved in crimes.
The majority of the South African citizens don’t seem to care, they
won’t speak up for us. The majority of citizens and our neighbours
don’t want to get involved, some of them seem to also think we should be
recognized and “dealt” with. I am worried that it’s just a matter of
time before all “national foreigners or is it foreign nationals” are
recognized and killed.
The world doesn’t care. We are not Charlie Hebdo, not American, not
European nor Chinese nationals. We are KWEREKWERES. I wonder where we
will go when the time comes. Maluti and I were born in South Africa, we
have never lived anywhere else. My mum and dad have been in South Africa
for more than 20 years and they are “citizens”, basically all their
adult life has been in South Africa. My Aunt Alice is just trying to
survive and she hasn’t committed a crime. The workers at our shop have
never hurt anyone and mum says she keeps them because they are prepared
to work and cook Shona meals. They are good people and they don’t commit
any crimes.
I am scared that one day, I and my fellow KWEREKWERES will be
beaten to death or doused with petrol and burnt alive for being
KWEREKWERES. That we won’t be given a chance to show our ID, that even
an ID won’t save us. That, when the day comes our only crime will be
that we are RECOGNISED as KWEREKWERES and don’t deserve to be treated
like human beings least of all as fellow South Africans or Africans.
Every night I listen to my parents speak into the early hours of
where we can run to. Maybe New Zealand, Australia or Canada, they take
professionals there I believe. But I am scared of this as well. I will
miss my friends, my school, my home and my country and there I will
definitely be “a national foreigner or a foreign national”. Some say we
should go back to Zimbabwe? Where will my parents start after 23 years
of absence, where will Aunty Alice get money to feed her family, where
will our workers start? What will Maluti do, he can’t even speak Shona,
and doesn’t even like being in Zimbabwe because he says he can’t
identify with anything there, well neither can I. Will I ever be
considered South African or a fellow human being?
I wonder why my “South African” brothers and sisters don’t like me
so much and yet they are happy to embrace the Portuguese from Portugal,
Jewish from Israel, Chinese from China, Pakistanis, Lebanese, Italians,
anything but African. After all, we all know they have more money than
the poor Africans, bigger shops. Will I ever stop feeling scared of my
fellow countryman? Most importantly, are you all going to turn a blind
eye, while innocent people are killed, their only crime being that they
are KWEREKWERE and are doing their best to survive and feed their
families.
Must a Portuguese from Portugal, Jewish from Israel, Chinese from
China, Pakistan, Lebanese, Italian, European or American be killed first
before we speak out?
My name is Danai Pachedu, Je suis KWEREKWERE.
Xenophobia a ticking time bomb.
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